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May 2008

Scared

I think I may know why I haven't gotten pregos yet.  There is another issue, that I put on the back burner for over a year, until now.

Eh it's nothing.  Nothing to worry about.  But it is, and I should have gotten it checked out long ago, but I was too scared.  I was telling Hubz about it and he begged me to go.

Something has fallen down there.  Could be my cervix, could be my bladder, I don't know, but it's not right, and next Wednesday I am going to get it checked out.

I am scared to death.  What if they tell me I can't have any more kids?  What if they tell me I have to have a hysterectomy?  What if they tell me I have cancer?  All of these things swirling in my head.  I honestly don't know how I made it through work yesterday.  I was a mess.  Cried a few times.  So scared.

And of course the doc I am going to see is not one that I really care for, but I would have to wait until July to see my regular doc, so whatever.   I need to know now, what the hell it is, and how we can fix it.

I went off my meds because we wanted to get pregnant.  I felt great, until this past week.  I have been nothing but a crier and a nervous wreck.  I hate feeling this way.  Today I feel okay.  One day at a time.

Broken

Well he broke his foot.  The pinky toe bone.  He has to make an appointment for the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow, and we are hoping he will only have to get a cast and they won't have to put a pin in it.  Ugh.  This really sucks.

I have been crying off and on all day.  This has been the worst weekend in the history of man. 

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

WTF?

Hubz is at the emergency room right now.  He may have broken his foot.  Can the weekend get any better?  Amazing.

I am actually sick to my stomach over it.  He twisted his foot in our stupid driveway in one of the cracks setting up for our barbecue today.  Unbelievable.

This blows.

Toasty

Well, I am pretty toasty by now.  I had a really good cry, and I feel better now.  Yay for beer.  Hubz is so sweet and brought home a case.  He knew I was really, really disappointed.

I just have to remember that it took 6 months for each kid, but honestly, I don't think I ever cried then when I got my period.  Interesting.

Ben was so cute tonight.  He had sentences to do for homework, and one of the words he had to use was brother.  He wrote, "I wish I had a baby brother".  Thought I was going to cry then too.

~heavy sigh~

Bummed

Well my period is here...again.  This sucks.

Oh Benny

Monday night was a really rough night with Ben.  The night before my sis and her family were over so we were up pretty late.  I didn't really have a hard time waking him the next day, so I figured he would be just fine on a little less sleep.

Well the night rolls around and it's time to do homework.  "I can't do it!"  So we started to help him and then wanted him to take control and finish it on his own.  Freak out.  Cry.  Nightmare.  So with all of the fussing, the homework didn't get done, and I had to write a note to his teacher.  Luckily it really didn't seem to be an issue with her.

Thank goodness last night he was a new boy, and did SO much homework, two nights worth, in a reasonable amount of time, with no fussing.  Yikes.  That night was horrible.

He has been a tough cookie at school lately too.  I think he has spring fever or something.  He is ready for summer vacation.  Me too, then I get to sleep in on Fridays.  I can't wait.

Happy Birthday To Me

Well today is my day.  My 39th birthday.  I can't believe that next year I will be 40!  Where did the years go?

Hubz and I had a wonderful time on our date.  We went into Philly to my favorite restaurant Royal Villa and it was awesome.  We pigged out.  Then we went to Starbucks for some coffee, he had a plain coffee flavored coffee and I had a white chocolate mocha...YUM, walked around Five Below for a bit then off to see Baby Mama.  What a cute movie.  I loved it.

It was a great time.  He is fun to be with. 

Birthday weekend has been great so far!

Loooong Day

I swear this has been the longest day in the history of man.  I am exhausted.

I was busy at work, which was good, but this day just dragged on and on and on.

I guess it's because I am looking so forward to the weekend!  It's birthday weekend, and Hubz is taking me out to dinner at our favorite restaurant and then to the movies.  The kids are having a sleepover, so it will just be Hubz and me til Sunday.  I.  Can't.  Wait.

I have decided to give up the Tiffany necklace so we can buy a new umbrella and a new pool for the kids.  I will be getting sleepwear instead, and that is fine with me.  I am easy to please.  Maybe I can get the necklace for Christmas.  We shall see.

Crazy Weather

We had some insane storms around our way yesterday.  High winds, icky rain, really cold.  Definitely not May weather.  I am so thankful that I haven't planted any flowers yet.

Hubz peeks out the back window last night and told me that our outdoor umbrella is toast.  I took a look and sure enough the whole top broke off and the pole was bent over and laying on the table.  Ugh.  Like I really feel like spending $100.00 for a new umbrella.  That stinks.

There goes my necklace :(

It's Been A Few Days

Sorry it's been a few days since I have posted.  I just suck don't I?

I went to the funeral and it was very nice.  I was so nervous as I walked in.  I just didn't want to cry, didn't know what to do or say, just felt like an ass.  I am so thankful that my co-worker drove me there, because there is no way I could have done it alone.  She told me in the car that she knows that it was my nerves and that is why I got sick on Monday and had to go home.  She is so cool.  She knows me so well.

I got an email from Ben's teacher on Wednesday that he has been being a bit naughty at school lately.  He is watching the two naughty boys in the class and mimicking them.  He doesn't want to do his work and complains.  He doesn't want to be partnered with anybody to do the work.  When she tries to correct him he starts balling and disrupts the classroom.  So of course since I was home after the funeral on Wednesday, I went to pick them up from school, and sure enough the teacher comes out with Ben.  She told me that Ben yelled at her when she told him she sent me the email.  I told Ben to tell her that he was sorry.  He told ME that he was sorry and I told him to turn around and tell her.  He starts balling.  Loud balling.  Right in the middle of the school yard.  Ugh.  So he cried the whole way home.  Hubz and I had a talk with him that night trying to find out what is going on, and since he doesn't say much it was kind of hard.  He said he doesn't like school and doesn't want to go anymore.  We told him that he has to go and better figure out a way to like it.  Honestly we think he has the spring fever, BUT we told him he better shape up and be good in school or we are going to take away his computer.  He didn't like that one bit.  He has been good ever since.  So strange.

Yesterday was my day off, and I did nothing.  I tried to sleep on the couch but of course Sammy had to bark all the time.  He can be such a pain sometimes.  So no sleep for me, just resting.  But that's okay.  Whatever.

Poor Hubz, I have made him work hard this week trying to get pregnant LOL!  He has done a good job!  So we shall see.  I read on the internet that there is only a 20% chance each month of getting pregnant.  Those are pretty low odds.  That just makes me crazy, when others can get pregnant in a heartbeat, no problem.  All of the accidents, etc.  The kids still don't know what we are up to, and I am going to keep it that way until I actually have some news to tell them.  That way I can dodge all of the questions for now.

Today Maddy and I are going to meet my Mom at the mall to get her a Mother's Day present.  Hubz is also giving me some money to go to Yankee Candle and get a present for myself from the kids.  And we are going to get Maddy some shorts too, because last year's are just too darn short.  Of course the first thing she says to me is that she isn't going to try the shorts on.  OH YES SHE IS, because I am just not sure what size she wears these days.  Hopefully we will do well in that department.

I just want to wish you all a happy and wonderful Mother's Day.  Enjoy it!

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