Self-Proclaimed Supermom

The Physical And Interrogation

During the next 16 weeks or so, I will be going weekly for the Social Anxiety Disorder clinical trial.  I think maybe if I share my experiences each week with you, maybe I can overcome this thing.

Yesterday, I went to meet with the Clinical Trial Doctors for my physical before we begin the meds.  They told me I would be there for a while, but I sure didn't expect what happened there.

First I went in and talked to the lady I met originally.  We went over a few things, asked for the pertinent info such as address and phone number etc.  Then I had to sign the consent form which I had read at home a few times, just so I could make a rational decision about the whole thing.  Then it was time to begin the fun stuff.

She took two tubes of blood from me.  I knew that was going to happen, and she was very gentle.  So I asked how often they will be drawing blood, and she replied each week.  I told her she had better be the one torturing me with this, because who wants to look forward to that each week.  Sheesh. 

Then we went in for the ECG.  Now for this part, I had to take off my top down to the bra.  So of course, the self concsious person that I am, was wearing my SPANX, which are on most of the time.  How freaking embarrassing.  So I had to explain about the SPANX, and how I love them.  We ended up having a 10 minute conversation with the ladies about them.  I told them where they can get them, and how I order them on the internet yadda, yadda, yadda.  They all said they were going to go get some, because of how I raved about them.  I do love them...

So then the lady stuck all of the stickers on me and pressed a button.  Heart is good, and I was glad to hear it.  Then they checked my ears, eyes, mouth (and the question there was, "Wow, those are your real teeth?  They are beautiful." and of course I replied, "Yeah, getting a little yellow, time for the Whitestrips again."  I can never take a compliment) reflexes, and breathing.  All seems fine, so happy about that.

Then it was time for the interrogation.  They must have asked me question after question for a half an hour.  What, why do you think, how do you feel when, and so on and so on.  Woah, I was tired just after that. 

So next week, I will go to get whatever meds it may be.  Could be real, could be sugar pill.  We shall see.  But I am trying so hard to be a different person, and hopefully this may open the door for me.

I will keep you posted.

SPC Introduce Yourself Week 5

This is the last week of Self Portrait Challenge Introduce Yourself.  As you know, I have been using 'Favorite Things' as my theme.  This week, its my Mom and MJ.

This picture was taken 2 summers ago.  I just love seeing 3 generations together.

What Memorial Day Weekend Means To Me

Yes, I know what it really means...but here is what it means to me.

It means the beginning of summer.  It means kids running around outside with smiles on their faces.  It means laughter in the air.  It means fires in the fire pit out back.  It means the guys will be playing horseshoes every Thursday night and there will be happiness and drunken silliness.  It means putting up the pool in the backyard and the kids will be splashing.  It means going down the shore for a week in July.  It means I will actually have 2 weeks vacation (in a row) this year, and when that comes it will be so desperately needed.  It means me having to actually go out and talk to the neighbors.  Oh boy.

It also means that there is going to be a ton more work at work, summer is our busiest time.  It means the air conditioner will be on all the time and higher energy bills.  It means more baths for the dog.

It means no homework, it means 'wrinkle releasing' the kids clothes instead of ironing them every day.  It means less laundry to do.  It means I have to wear shorts....I need some shorts.  It means I will have to have fights with a razor more often.  More ponytails, less makeup.  I will have to actually put some lotion on my legs.

Talk about a rambly post...I am hungover...my sister took me out last night and I had a little too much.  Man, I so need to acquire a taste for beer.  Long Island Iced Teas go down easy, but sure do beat you up the next day.

Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend.

This Mommy Is Off The Record

Please give a warm welcome to my new renter Mommy Off The Record.  She was a great landlord for me a few weeks ago, and now it's my turn to rent to her.

She is funny, smart, and oh you just have to go read THIS post.  What a pictorial.  So true, and how she presents the situation is so funny!  Hilarious.

We are kind of new bloggy buddies, and I am so glad we found each other.  Please go check her out and let her know the Self-Proclaimed Supermom sent ya!

My Week (Cliff Notes Version) 5/26

We had Benny's Pre-K graduation on Tuesday night.  I laughed so hard I almost split my pants.  They were all so cute up on stage singing their songs.  They are singing 5 Little Monkeys, and when they get to the part about 'one fell off and bumped his head' they all smacked their heads.  Ben was smacking his so hard, you could hear it in the back of the gym.  So funny.  Then when it is all done, Ben comes out and says, "Are we done yet?".  I almost fell off my chair.  What a fun time.  I loved it.

Something scary and sad went down at MJ's school this week.  I don't really want to get into details, but let's just say, I am so sad about it, and it doesn't look good for the school.  And that scares me.

On a lighter note, yesterday I went to a meeting about Benny's speech therapy.  I had to meet with two teachers, one that tested Benny, and another that I hadn't met before.  Now I try really hard not to be a judgemental person, but when that one teacher was sitting next to me...I couldn't stop looking at her grey mustache.  Just couldn't stop.  It was a miracle that I didn't come out and say, "Hey, I could wax that for you!"  I laughed so hard to myself.  Oh man.  But sheesh it took forever, and they have to talk to me as if they are above me with big words and all.  It was all pretty much Charlie Brown's Mom talking,  wa wa wa wa wa wa.  So two times a week he will go to therapy.  I need to figure out how I am going to work this into my schedule.  I could go into work late.  We shall see.

My house is a pigsty right now and unfortunately, cleaning is at the top of my very long 'to-do' list for today.

And now, it is finally the weekend.  My Sis and her Hubz and my Mom will be coming over Sunday night for a little drinky drinky.  Time to celebrate hopefully the best summer ever!

And that is all I have to say about that.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Apparently, I am considered a textbook case for Social Anxiety.  This is what a shrink told me last night. 

I saw an ad on Craigslist about a clinical trial for a new drug they are testing for Social Anxiety.  It intrigued me.  For some strange reason ever since I have had the kids, my social skills are lacking.  I run away from the possibility.  Hide behind my glasses.  Get all sweaty if I have to make a presentation at my work in front of many.  Hey, if you put a few drinks in me I can be the life of the party....otherwise, I put on a good show.  Quite a good show, I might add.

So for this trial, nobody at the place knows what you get.  40% chance you get a placebo (sugar pill), 40% chance you get the drug they are testing, and 20% chance you get Paxil. 

First I have to go and get some blood work done to be sure that I am healthy for this trial.  Then if I am, I would go back each week for 16 weeks for them to check on me.  And, if I do happen to get one of the drugs that is real, and it works, when the trial is over I am eligible to get another free 3 months worth from them, then they would transfer the prescription to my family doctor.

"You are CRAZY", you are probably saying.  But you know what, I can stop at any time.  If I get some crazy kind of side effect I can just walk right in there and say I'm done.  No questions asked.  Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

I have been struggling with this for so long.  I don't want to be this way anymore and I am really not sure why I am this way deep down inside.  I never was like this, EVER.  I always wanted to be the center of attention, and now I run from it.  I just don't want to do or say anything stupid. 

But I really shouldn't care should I?  I should just be who I am and not give a crap what anyone else thinks...but I do.  I struggle with it daily.

SPC Introduce Yourself Week 4

For Week 4 my favorite thing is my wine.  Barefoot White Zinfandel is my absolute favorite wine on this earth. 

Wine is good after a hard day at work.  Wine is good for when the kiddos are driving me crazy.  Wine is good when I can't sleep.  Wine is good when I just need to get away from it all.  Wine is good...

But hey, I am no Wino....so don't be thinking that!  Oh, and I look like a total and complete dork in this picture!

The Saga Of Benny And The Shot Glass

This is a prize that Hubz won on golf weekend with the guys.  It's a cool plastic shot glass with a blinkie thing on the bottom.  So, of course Ben thought it was the coolest.  Who wouldn't.  A blinky light?  What on earth could be cooler than that?  So he was playing with it.  Then it's time for the night night kisses and I notice.......

THIS!  Yes, look underneath the bottom lip.  It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's a hickey from the shot glass. Amazing.  I swear, this kid is going to be the class clown once he gets to Kindergarten!  You kill me Benny, you really, really do!

I Got Smacked....Hard

Well the lovely Merciless Minx over at  I Talk Too Much has smacked me only once, but hard.  Apparently I suck, but then again, my blog is a Mommy Blog per se, and they just hate those.  See what they had to say HERE.

Why on earth did I do this to myself....am I a complete and total moron?  Eh, it's all in fun isn't it! 

So, do you agree or disagree....tell me.

The Three ____'s On A Desert Island

Oh Mrs. Fortune...how could you.......how could you??  Oh I am just kidding.  This is just for you!

If I was stranded on a desert island what three ____'s would I bring?

Books

1) Succulent Wild Woman by SARK
        because dammit, I so want to be a Succulent Wild Woman
2) The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
        because I like some 'deep' reading once in a while
3) All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum
        because this book just rocks

Movies

1) 40 Year Old Virgin
        for when I need a laugh
2) The Notebook
        for when I need a sappy, good cry
3) 13 Going On 30
        for when I need to get nostalgic, and have a laugh and a cry

Albums

1) Louder Than Bombs by The Smiths
        because it is my favorite album of all time
2) The Fat Of The Land by Prodigy
        for when I feel like dancing like a crazy woman
3) Shooting Rubberbands At The Stars by Edie Brickell
        for when I feel like singing

People (Spouse and kids are not an option)

1) Morrissey
        oh come on, you know why...so he can sing for me of course!
2) Cheri Huber
        so she can keep my crazy thoughts in check
3) Anthony Robbins
        to keep me motivated....oh and just to look at!